Losing Grip
by heffermonkey
Summary: Danny William's is a unique member of society, able to live within two realities, shifting from to another through sleep state. When his 'event' occurs, he is forced to choose one reality over another.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**What is DRS?** DRS - Dual Reality Syndrome. In a world where two realities co-exist, a quarter of the population are born with DRS, the ability to live in both realities (transferring from one to the other through sleep states). Diagnosis occurs through testing at a young age and a shifting process naturally occurs where they are locked into one reality with residual memories of the other dissipating away leaving zero memory of their condition. From a handful of individuals, DRS goes undiagnosed. Both realities are virtually similar, so some people with DRS are unaware until their 'event' that they even live within the two.

**What is the Safety Net Institute (SNI)?** A company/organisation that deals with DRS patients. The handful of DRS individuals slip through the net, living in dual realities until they are forced to choose one reality for the other. This choice is usually through the 'event' process, in which an event occurs in both universes but with two different outcomes and the patient is forced to choose one life or the other. If the individual doesn't choose, it is made for them by the SNI. The SNI deals with the patients until they are ready to 're-join' the reality they have chosen or has been chosen for them.

**An 'Event'? **A traumatic or life changing moment in which the two realities which usually are close parallels to one another split into different paths. Events are traumatic experiences and usually the patient is put into a medically induced coma for a short period of time at the Safety Net Institute, which acts as a limbo until they can make their choice. If the patient refuses to make a choice, the SNI makes it for them and the choice cannot be reversed. The patient keeps residual memories from the other reality but slowly these recede over time, assimilated over time into memories of one reality. Eventually the DRS patient forgets they lived in dual realities as their current reality comes more into focus and their every day existence.


	2. Case 3XY - 475

**Case 3XY - 475**

**Patient Name:** Daniel Williams

**Age:** 31

**Occupation:** Detective, New Jersey Police Department

**Event date:** June 9th, 2000

**The Event: **

_Reality Alpha;_

Mass car pile up on the New Jersey Turnpike, 09:42 Several casualties including: Daughter, Grace Williams - deceased. Wife, Mrs Rachel Williams - survivor.

_Reality Beta; _

Mass car pile up on the New Jersey Turnpike, 09:42. Several casualties including: Wife, Mrs Rachel Williams - deceased. Daughter, Grace Williams - survivor.

_June 10th, 2000_ - Daniel Williams committed into the Safety Net Institute due to mental breakdown brought on through Dual Reality Syndrome (DRS) Event occurring on June 9th, 2000.

Daniel Williams; Sedated, assigned to care of Dr Frank Hindhaugh. Rachel Williams; Reality Alpha, in critical state, brought to SNI Unit 30 until such time Daniel Williams undergoes Reality Shift Process. Grace Williams; Reality Beta, in critical state, brought to SNI Unit 30 until such time Daniel Williams undergoes Reality Shift Process.

_June 11th, 2000_ - Reality shift process for Daniel Williams begins.


	3. Dr Hindhaugh's Notes

___June 11th, 2000;_

Despite his breakdown and obvious distress, Daniel shows thorough understanding of his DRS and the current situation involving the event. My hope is, through therapy and prescribed medication, Daniel will undergo Reality Shift Process (RSP) within two weeks.

_June 18th, 2000;_ Due to Daniel's age and the trauma of the event, RSP is painstakingly slow. Shows no sign of committing to a choice, finding it difficult to come to terms with his situation.

_June 20th, 2000;_ Throughout the night Daniel suffered severe panic attacks and showed violent tendencies due to the trauma of event. After some deliberation I found it wise and within Daniel's best interests to put him under sedation to help him through the transition, giving his mind and body time to cope with his Event.

_June 25th, 2000;_ Both Rachel Williams and Grace Williams making speedy recoveries. I have been informed by the board that Daniel Williams, after review, will be given until June 30th 2000 to undergo his RSP willingly or board will be forced to make final decision.

Daniel shows signs of distress after being given the ultimatum but is coming to terms with his situation.

_June 29th, 2000;_ Daniel still shows no intention of choosing despite having come to the end of his time here. I have fully informed him of matters concerning his making his own choice vs having it made for him.

_June 30th, 2000;_

Daniel will undergo Reality Shift Process at 1300hrs.

_Alpha Reality;_ Rachel Williams, recovered. Due to be released from SNI care. _Beta Reality;_ Grace Williams, recovered. Due to be released from SNI care.


	4. The Event

In his time at the Safety Net Institute, Danny had often questioned 'why me?' In a town of thousands, a city of millions, a planet so overly populated, like mankind had spewed itself over every inch of available earth, why did he have to be one of the minority afflicted with DRS? Duo Reality Syndrome was something that usually showed in toddlers and was quickly rectified without any affect on the child. But sometimes, with people like himself, it didn't show itself until a child reached the age of nine or ten and by then it was just natural to live within both (that was if it was even identified) barely seeing the differences between the realities of Alpha and Beta. Danny had lived happily enough with it, as children and young adults often did when life didn't throw them anything difficult to deal with but puberty and coping with school and college. Alpha and Beta were so in parallel that there was barely anything to show the two worlds were different. But then, as had been predicted to him many times over the years, Doctors and experts urging him to make his choice before it was too late, that inevitable 'Event' occurred which had brought him to the institution.

In the aftermath of the accident, he'd begun spiralling out of control. His living in both realities had been a simple switch as he slept. He fell asleep in Alpha and awoke in Beta, when he slept in Beta he'd come awake in Alpha. Most of the time he didn't know one from the other.

Until the accident.

He was working a case but through word of mouth had heard about the pile up on the turn pike. It didn't affect his day, accidents happened and it was tragic but he was on a murder case and his focus was on following up leads. It was a couple of hours later when he got the first call to say Rachel and Grace were at the hospital. From then on everything had become a blur.

He'd reached the hospital to be informed Rachel was in critical condition but they were doing everything they could for her. The usual hospital spiel every Doctor was trained to say in such circumstances. When they told him Grace had died at the scene, Danny had been able to keep his legs under him. Everything crashed down around him.

He'd come to sitting in a hospital waiting room, everything seemed still and empty, no movement in the halls. A nurse passed by, giving him a sympathetic smile and fetching some water for him. When she returned with the cup, a doctor was with her, a grim look on their face. Danny felt like vomiting, he knew that look. Had he lost Rachel too? Had a pile up on the turnpike wiped out his family?

"Rachel?" he asked croakily.

The doctor and nurse exchanged a glance and the Doctor moved closer. "I'm sorry there wasn't anything we could do for your wife Mr Williams. She died on impact. Your daughter however, well I'll be honest, the next twenty four hours will be critical-."

"My daughter? Grace," Danny said, looking up at the man like he was insane. "Grace is dead."

"No Mr Williams, Grace, is alive," the Doctor assured him. "Barely but we're doing everything we can and at the moment she is stable."

Danny felt the room spin again. Rachel, dead? He didn't understand, dead at the scene? He leaned forward, closing his eyes and pressing the heel of his palms against his eyelids, groaning.

"Mr Williams?" The voices seemed distant. He needed time, space. He needed a moment to himself and he needed to start calling people. Someone was sat beside him. "Mr Williams, is there someone I can call for you? Your wife's family perhaps, to let them know of the situation?"

"No, I, I should call," Danny said with a shake of his head. "How am I supposed to tell them? What am I supposed to say?"

"You need people here with you Mr Williams, people to sit with your wife, to help you through this difficult time," the nurse said gently. "She isn't conscious yet and the doctor wants to wait before you tell her about your daughter."

"My daughter?" Danny questioned, his mind was spinning. He felt like he was going mad. His heart raced, beating so hard in his chest he thought it was going to explode. He couldn't get his breath and sat back, trying to stop everything from spinning like a carousel out of control. "Grace is dead? No, no she's alive. Rachel died. God Gracie, my baby, she's dead, god no, no. No, wait - they both - did they both die? Are they both alive?"

Everything had become blurred after that, though he'd been told he'd shifted from one reality to another several times within minutes until the Doctors had been forced to sedate him. Indications had shown he was suffering an Event through DRS and he'd been committed to the SNI. Hindhaugh had been slowly helping him cope with the transition.

For days he'd been suffering, his days and nights filled with anguish, turmoil, so much pain yet still the hardest part was being forced to choose.

Rachel or Grace.

There were so many things he'd been able to control, but not this destiny. Not this decision which would end one life and let him live permanently another. But the sacrifice, it made the bile in his throat turn even sourer even contemplating what he had to do.

Why couldn't he stay here, in this place between realities? The Safety Net, as it was known, where only people like him resided for any length of time.

The door clicked open and his stomach flip flopped, twisting, turning as he sank down into the chair terrified, hands shaking as he gripped the seat with sweaty palms.

"Well Daniel, we're ready to begin," Hindhaugh said, sitting back down in the chair beside him.

He gave him a look of concern, checking his vitals before patting him on the hand.

"I know this is difficult," he said sympathetically. "But it will be better than the suffering you have been enduring these last weeks."

"How can I sacrifice one of them?" Danny said, voice croaky and shaking.

"Danny, we've been through this," Hindhaugh sighed. "The event, the crash, it was your body's way of trying to force you to choose. That you've continued this long despite that, that your mind has managed to cope with both realities despite the tragedies, it should have been impossible for you to continue this long. That is why you are here, you must decide or we will be forced to take necessary measures to save you."

"How can you do this to people every day?" Danny said bitterly, the doctor sitting back and giving a small shrug.

"I'm here to save lives Danny," he informed him. "I'm here to save yours."

The door clicked open again and a team of white robed doctors and nurses began streaming through. Danny felt the chair recline further back and he gritted his teeth, biting down on the urge to beg.

"I'm sorry Daniel, but you must choose," Hindhaugh urged, standing and peering down at him. "Please. It makes the recovery much easier if you make the choice."

Danny closed his eyes, said a thousand apologies in his mind, tried not to let the memories of her bombard him too much, his body leaden with grief.

"Grace," he said without opening his eyes, tears spilling through closed lids, refusing to be contained. Shame, guilt, so much grief.

"I choose Grace."


	5. Life Goes On

Six Months Later

"Daniel."

Danny jerked awake, reaching out for her -as he always did - finding the bed empty - as he always did. He'd been dreaming of her, could remember the touch of her skin under his fingertips, the sound of her voice as he dipped his fingers low, past her abdomen, the look of excitement already in her eyes. It was a little over a year since the accident and the memories were fading, she always vivid in his dreams but they faded as soon as he awoke. He had to look at pictures to remind himself of certain things, like how her eyes crinkled when she smiled, the pout of her lips, the lines of her neck or the way she styled her hair. More and more he found he had to find these physical reminders, questioning his dreams, if he remembered her rightly, if her voice had really sounded that way, if their lovemaking had been that satisfying every time.

"Daaad," a voice made him roll onto his side, grunting as he looked at the clock. He'd overslept but not by much, it would make the morning routine a little tight. He pushed back the covers, stumbled into the bathroom before he made his way downstairs.

Grace sat on the couch watching a cartoon on TV, hair messed from sleep, pyjamas rumpled.

"Hey kiddo, breakfast?" Danny asked, crossing the room into the kitchenette.

"Toast please," Grace replied without looking at him.

He put on two slices; decided coffee would keep him going until Grace was safely delivered to school and got busy putting together her stuff for the day. Her uniform was already lain out, underwear, socks, shoes. He checked her school bag, signed a permission slip for the school trip to the local aquarium and put it with her books near the top, reminding her to hand it in when she was in class. He buttered up the toast, gave her a decent helping of jam on both, took a sneaky large bite from one and presented the plate.

"After breakfast go wash up munchkin," He said to her, going back upstairs to get dressed himself.

He showered, towelled off, dressed in some worn jeans and clean t-shirt, sticking his head into her bedroom to make sure she was dressing. She was just finishing, pulling on her socks, hair still madly fly away in all directions. He wandered in and grabbed the brush as she sat at her dresser, a doll in her arms. He patiently began brushing her hair as she looked at him through the mirror.

"I've packed a lunch for you today okay?" He told her as he pulled her hair gently from her face to tie in a ponytail. "And remember you're going to Suanna's house tonight. I'll pick you up at seven. You want it braided?"

"Yes please," she smiled as he began plaiting the long blonde locks. "Where are you going today Danno?"

Danny eyed her in the mirror, her face one of total innocence. He didn't buy it, Grace knew perfectly well where he was going and had been sure to voice her opinion many times on the idea of leaving the city. For a ten year old, she had quite an opinion on most subjects, just like her mother or so he kept telling himself. He couldn't quite rightly remember if she did get that trait from Rachel. He finished off the braid, fastening it off before picking up a pink ribbon and tying around the braid to keep her appeased.

"You know I've got to make some final arrangements Gracie," Danny told her. "For the move in the next few weeks."

Grace pouted, hugging the doll close to her chest. "Do we have to move so far away?"

Danny wished he could explain to her the many reasons why. Because of his job. Because of his finances. Because he couldn't stand living there any longer, surrounded with memories and echoes of a former life with a woman he'd planned on spending the rest of his life with. Because he'd lost her not once but twice, that out there, in another reality he'd shut himself away from, she was living without the both of them. The guilt twisted in his gut but he looked at his little girl in the mirror, rested his hands on her shoulders and leaned down to kiss her head.

"I wish I could explain it to you Grace," he said softly. "I hope one day you'll understand."

He gave her a squeeze and she gave him a small smile. "Go get your shoes, we're going to be late."


End file.
